Satirical Sketch Admirer Gifts

Museum of Mediocre Art.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Cariactures

UK border controls relaxed.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Czarcasm

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Hot cross buns

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'