Satirical Scout Pillows

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'The Neurosis Pack.'

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

Dangerous Mural

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

'The DOH is targeting the problem of repeat prescriptions with some repeat proposals.'

Colonel Bagshot.

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

'I'll keep your application on file in case something else comes up.'

The arrival of girl scout cookies sparks a rise in black bear activity...

Mild in the Streets

Caught with a smoking gun.

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

'This will help me find the wisdom of the ages and increase my penis size...'

"You can't imagine the stress I'm under."

"So is this what they mean by 'High Adventure'."

'We'd like to go to a country not under threat of US attack for having a nuclear weapons program.'

'After all this time we've finally apprehended the suspect, sir!'

"Hmm. I don't believe there is a fill body version of a tied-seat harness."

What if...school uniform was made of leather.

Desert Island with No Vacancies.

'Gotta run. I'm late for a lecture on answering the phone while out on a date.'

Tourist sucker hall of fame