Satirical Saint Appreciator Pillows

'You weren't always faithful so some of your prayers went to God's spam.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Steamed vegetables."

'Oh Hi!'

"OMG, LOL!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"Amateurs."

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

The Greek Trampoline

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Russia Money Laundering

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."