Satirical News Lover Pillows

No Pacifists Allowed on News Shows

'Well that makes bugger-all sense! First it was screwed and now it's a Virgin?!?'

Trump Coronavirus

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Minority Report

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Honest Voting Stickers

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

The Monroe Doctrine

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Only in America

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

Fiscal cliff

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Escape?...Why?'

Dollars Press Conference