Satirical Media Lover Pillows

"In this economic downturn we're asking for volunteers to drink more than they normally would."

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Minority Report

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

Honest Voting Stickers

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Only in America

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

Police Lineup Escape

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Dollars Press Conference

Spying Smart TV