Satirical Media Lover Pillows

"In this economic downturn we're asking for volunteers to drink more than they normally would."

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Honest Voting Stickers

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

Police Lineup Escape

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

'Escape?...Why?'

Traders joining Wall Street protests

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."