Media Satire Admirer Pillows

"A long time ago a very famous man kissed me against my will..."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"A haand gel...!?"

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Hot cross buns

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

Football heads...

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

A Gated Community.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'