Satirical Muse Gifts

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Alabama Traffic Jam

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Latest Aye Phone

'Secondhand smoke.'

Macho Vegetarian

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

Facelook

Looking for Impeachable Offenses in All The Wrong Places

Blockhead

Monkey Business College

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

Capitalism

The Pope

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'