Satirical Muse Pillows

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

'Secondhand smoke.'

Latest Aye Phone

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

Macho Vegetarian

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

Blockhead

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Monkey Business College

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."