Satirical Medicine Lover Gifts

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"We're going to start you on generics of generics for your generic medical condition!"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I feel your pain level."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.