Satirical Historian Pillows

Willus Gatus Abacus Peripherals - Extra memory sold here!

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

"This confirms that the Babylonians interfered with the Egyptian elections."

Joan of Sark - Offshore Directorship Fees

'Kim Jong il!... Why did you go?'

"And that's the president's personal cloud storage."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Cannonball!'

Vlad the Impala

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"You're on a what?!"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

The discovery of asparagus.

"Right here's fine."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Stonehenge Explained

The Fall of Gnome

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.