Satirical Historian T-Shirts

Willus Gatus Abacus Peripherals - Extra memory sold here!

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

"This confirms that the Babylonians interfered with the Egyptian elections."

Joan of Sark - Offshore Directorship Fees

'Kim Jong il!... Why did you go?'

"And that's the president's personal cloud storage."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Cannonball!'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

"You're on a what?!"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Right here's fine."

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

What's an Imax cave?

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'