Satirical Drawing Enthusiast Gifts

"The last thing we want is a psychopathic leader with nuclear weapons capability!"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

My First Camera

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Had enough of the box.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Party-Crashing Ban

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

Militant Pacifists

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"My parents just raised my home school tuition."

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Surgical Self-Service

In Which the CEO Takes a Meeting with His Pet Senator

"He can't speak to you at the moment - he's bonding with his compensation package."

'The Sadly Insanes do Baghdad.'

Exhibition for Prisoners