Satirical Drawing Enthusiast Pillows

"The last thing we want is a psychopathic leader with nuclear weapons capability!"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

My First Camera

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Had enough of the box.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

Militant Pacifists

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"My parents just raised my home school tuition."

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"He can't speak to you at the moment - he's bonding with his compensation package."

Surgical Self-Service

"I'm afraid it's the bankruptcy virus."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The Sadly Insanes do Baghdad.'