Satirical Arts Enthusiast Gifts

New Silk Road,

"It was a gift from god."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

reincarnated worm...

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Meat Grinder

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Turkish Democracy