Satirical Enthusiast Gifts

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Before I forget, Detrick, here's the dental plan."

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'It's strange, but ever since that star appeared I've had this overwhelming urge to go shopping.'

"See? No socialists."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

'Is he well enough to look at his hospital bill, doctor?'

Debt Councellor: 'You'll have to declare yourself a Private Equity Company.'

"Sure, we need affordable housing - just so long as it doesn't come at the expense of unaffordable housing."

Content Street Vendor

'Say, what's all this religious stuff doing on these Christmas cards?'

'The demeanor of this judicial panel doesn't bode well for your appeal.'

"Guidance from the DOH on how to see paitents more quickly..."

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

'These next few questions may make you a little uncomfortable. I hope they do. You look way too comfortable.'

Carbon Trading

"I've been eating genetically modified corn all my life and I don't see what all the fuss is about!"

"That's a crazy idea but it might work."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

'Hi, I'm from your alumni assocation, and I'm wondering if you'd care to share your loot...'

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

We can terminate employment any way we see fit.

'Good point Frank. . . does anyone else have an opinion about my new proposal. . .?'

Shotgun Bar Mitzvah

"Let's face it, the taxpayer dollar doesn't go as far as it once did."

"Upset by the high cost of prescription drugs? There's a new drug on the market to treat that."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

'So what did you die of?' Reply - 'Alcoholism...and you?' Reply - 'Nationalism.'

'Here at St Wadlings we like to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual no 76/09bt-c12.'

Tolerate thy neighbour

"A second bomb will not make us safer."

Christmas Cards: Humour, Traditional, Veiled Threats.

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"This is my new normal."