Satirical Dining Observers T-Shirts

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

TV and man

"Die alone"

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

The Second-to-last Supper.

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.