Satirical Comics Gifts

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

A Visit from the Ghost of Pre-9/11

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Trump

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Once Again, Another Donald Trump Twitter Classic

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"I hope your day is going bad."

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

Politics pre - DJT

Cricket widow's revenge

"Thanks for auditioning, you're too dark for the part but we were really impressed at how well you conveyed 'frustration' "

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Cubans against annexation to the USA

A snowman executes another, but not in the fashion originally planned.

Paris clean up before Olympics

'We have 10 billion dollars sitting around. Let's give it to the country that calls the United States the most names.'

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'Good news! That spot is B-9!'

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada Canada Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

"Jobbymoons" For The Rest of Us

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

Blair, Brown, and a Mandelson snake.

Boris Hulk

Bernie Sanders Gets Screwed Again

"So, where'd you learn acupuncture, Doc?"

"You know things are bad when Trump tries to start a sex scandal to create a diversion."

Maybe we should put away our phones - she's trying to text on a cracker.