Satirical Cat Lover Gifts

Biofelineism

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

"John, the story isn't bad but leave those cat picture."

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

"He expects us to climbdown first."

Cat Nightmares

"So what do you think we should be saying about zero hours contracts?"

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Cat Emojis

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Benjamin Franklin Kite Flying

"I don't care what they say...they don't really want you to think outside the box."

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'

Cards For Cats.

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.

'So to conclude curiosity did indeed kill the cat . . . no wait, it was a dog.'

Doug was on the "No Cat List" – but even that didn't stop them.

You guys go ahead - I'm an inside cat.

Cat hangs Christmas stockings.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: ...Because it's quiet and doesn't eat much.