Satirical Cartoonist Fan Gifts

"It's 'affordable' if you can afford it."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'More government surveillance!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Santa's Helpers

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."