Satirical Awards Pillows

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

The Berlin Peace Movement

Mikado

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Strainspotting

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"That's very offensive."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Blockhead

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"Your personality test shows you are selfish, mean, and lazy. We'd like to offer you a position in management."

"Larry! Swine flu!"

Monkey Business College

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'