Satire Enjoyers Gifts

"What do you mean, my pen name can't be 'J. K. Rowling'?"

"Now the GPS is saying, around the world in 90 days."

'I'm sick of you leeching off me.'

The hostage rescue team

"Last Vape?"

"Science Fiction is for dorks!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Occu-Pie Mars

Hollywood Sign Developers

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'That's our mission statement.'

Support the Ex-Troops

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Life is for the birds.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Pretty Flowers

Torturing the English Language

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Trump pardons

Do Not Resuscitate

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"