Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

"One of you will betray me."

"What do you mean, 'When did I have the time to have an affair??!' I MADE the time!"

"I trust this site to tell the truth."

Performance figures.

The NHS Response to Change: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Wouldn't know Evil if it Sat on His Face.

'Now, Dan, we're all equals here. Have a seat.'

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"So we're agreed-whoever picks the short straw has to cold-call potential donors and try to raise enough money for some food."

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

Democracy vs. Natural Selection.

'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'

Beckett on ice

'I'm currently looking to hire a workaholic who feels the good job he does is compensation enough.'

'I got a detention for not wearing exactly the right uniform for my 'encouraging diversity' lessons.'

'Help! I ran my business like a government.'

'Serving you is our number one job'

"What are you complaining about? It's a level playing field."

"Rising fuel costs have forced us to make major design changes. Like the in-dash ATM, in case you run out of gas money."

"Why can't immigrants get dressed like civilized people?"

Her new doctor even made house calls. Often unexpectedly.

"...but what does the other word mean?"

'A cardboard box in the Hamptons...That's the American dream!'

'Isn't it nice to see them using their knife and fork.'

Imitate me, formerly 'Think'.

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

"Don't worry -- I'm tweeting that climate change is fake."

'Wake up! You've got to take a new disability test...'

"It's Bring Your Personal Demons to Work Day."

Papal Opposition to Modern Civilisation

"Careful—some of our children's firearms are manufactured in plants that also process nuts and nut products."

'Bad news, Americans are now doing the jobs we used to do.'

'I'm feeling a bit cynical this year. Just bring me cash.'

Proud Parents of Underachievers

"Hold on a tick...did you vote for this? I didn't vote for this!"

1999: The customer is always a right pain in the...