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"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Lesser known greek gods,

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Who's the new guy?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"You should run for president."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'All the tellers are nuns.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

"Can't fool me, Jake, there's a coach comin' in!"

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'