Satire Addict Pillows

'I'll even throw in 30 days free towing.'

'Why do you live in the past?'

King and Queen head toward a pawn shop.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Occu-Pie Mars

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Director/Action Man toy.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Life is for the birds.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Do Not Resuscitate

Trump pardons