Satire Addict Gifts

'I'll even throw in 30 days free towing.'

'Why do you live in the past?'

King and Queen head toward a pawn shop.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Occu-Pie Mars

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Support the Ex-Troops

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Director/Action Man toy.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Torturing the English Language

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Life is for the birds.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'