Humor Addict Gifts

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Man playing 'Guac-A-Mole'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"Women! I don't come for the women, I come for the cucumber sandwiches!"

Attack of the Giant Ants.

Snake Centrefolds

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

"He treats me like a piece of meat. He's a vegetarian and refused to touch me."

Larry's used art

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Fly Football

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."