Quirky Humor Addicts Gifts

'So much for dogs looking like their owners'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"You left this on our ship."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Theatre Masks and Butts

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Astral Projection

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Fresh pepper?"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'Check out the old dude.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Family members!

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.