Satire Lover Gifts

The Perfect Holiday Card

"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."

"It sort of makes you stop and think, doesn't it."

'Run! 73 million baby boomers are about to retire!'

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

"There, there it is again - the invisible hand of the marketplace giving us the finger."

"Well, Bob, it looks like a paper cut, but just to be sure let's do lots of tests."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

P C Plod "Hello Mr. Differently coloured, yet equally valid doll"

Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses - No soliciting.

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

A visually impaired man with a white cane accidentally kills pigeons

Christmas Lunch; Australian political style.

'Outcomes...normally we just measure the height of the files.'

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

'Put this memo in an envelope marked 'Confidential'. Drop it on the floor in the hall. Make sure you do not seal the envelope. That way, we can be sure all employees will read the memo.'

'I was just ringing to see if you received the letter about the e-mails I sent you?'

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

'Don't be ridiculous, man! Of course there's no 'exit strategy'!'

"My client would like to do his community service in the financial community."

"According to our time-and-motion studies, you handle your time very well but a lot of your motion is wasted."

Difference of Opinion

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

"You kissed me without my consent and woke me up from the best nap ever - and I'm supposed to be grateful?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I hope you don't think that you have a monopoly on ethics."

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"In the interest of cultural diversity, we've hired Jason, here, who owns a number of hip-hop CDs."

Writers Strike

Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications

"We need either bigger needles or smaller camels."

'The kit's finally arrived then.'

"Yeah, everybody says I'm hard to shop for, too."