Satellite Tv Aficionado Gifts

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

TV-Man

TV jester.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

100 best beheadings

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"He's an indoor cat."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Couch and Potato

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

How the goat got square eyes.

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'