Satellite Operator Gifts

'Sorry, Big Guy, We're downsizing, Here comes your replacement,'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I see the downsizing continues."

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

Satellite Discovers Sell-by-Date on Planet Earth

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Thermidor Dali

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Spy Satellite

The Great Canadian Novel

"Earthlings."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

For eons she lulled us into complacency with her whole orbiting satellite shtick... then, when we least expected it, the moon attacked.

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Apparently it's demanding offerings."

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

Nano-Satellite Assembly Line.

How M2M really works.