Satanic Saucier Pillows

"It's fondue night!"

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Ghostbasters 3

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

Mexican Seasoning Mix Mines / Polynesian Sauce Works

"We bought the most expensive cut of meat....you marinated it for two days in your secret sauce....and all you end up with is that?"

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'Republican Valentines' They really love the word 'NO!'

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

Man in Hell, 'Well, I gotta tell ya, layers is NOT the answer.'

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

"You guys want a go?"

"It's just a coincidence that you pedometer was on 666 when you had that massive coronary."

'This French food is pretty good, except for that beurre bleeech sauce.'

A goat-herder notices Satan trying to fit in with a herd of goats and sends him off

'I try to do more harm than good.'

'Nice 666 pack.'

"Grab a fork and pitch in if you want to. Not that it matters. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"I mean that we both leave a trail on the sidewalk!"

Hell before the advent of fire (all dark)

Leonard Sippowitz, neighbour of the beast.