Sassy Stewardess Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"Would you like some wings?"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

"The loud engine might wake her up. Can you ask the pilot to turn it off?"

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

"Jeez, calm down, Bill. We're not saying you're wrong... Just that you're an idiot."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

'Happy New Year!'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

'It's like this, Harry -- I'm in the full bloom of life, and I don't need any more of your fertilizer.'

"Do you have something that says, 'Quit stalking me'?"

"In other words homogenius."

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

Deer Crossing With Attitude

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'I don't think we have to worry about anyone stealing our St. Joseph's-bread wine glass idea.'

"There! Just like new!"

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

'In case of a sudden loss of cabin-pressure, please don the respective AFTER-LIFE costume located in the seat pocket in front of you..'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I'm not eating that - it hasn't been advertised on the telly...'