Sassy Customer Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Jeez, calm down, Bill. We're not saying you're wrong... Just that you're an idiot."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Snow cones being sold in a snow globe.

"I'd recommend this."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"It won't be long - we're in the process of hiring a cook now."

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"Do you have something that says, 'Quit stalking me'?"

"It's fancy-schmantzy. I just wanted fancy."

'It's a flight simulator for passengers.'

"And that is where we started to focus on customer care."

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

"We've implemented AI, now if we can develop artificial concern for our customers, we'll have it made."

The Niche Economy

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

'Don't bother using the cash machine on the High St. I've worn it out.'

Service With A Smile.