Quirky Customer T-Shirts

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"The crystal ball is to indicate when a waiter will next be in this vicinity."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"That's our new church mascot."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Ostrich Curoisities

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Unusual Offers

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

Floss Street Vendor

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

(Direct to the Consumer)

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Jumble Sale

"Does it come with magnets?"

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'