Sassy Pet Partner Gifts

'She taught me that copping an attitude will get you everything.'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"This never happened."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Your love gives me strength."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Humans are strange."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Whatever!

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Jeez, calm down, Bill. We're not saying you're wrong... Just that you're an idiot."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

Museum of dog memorabilia

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

His master's voice

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

'She's killing me with kindness!'

"Too goth?"

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

Cat Chores

Only 4 shopping days till national dog week

'Frank Sinatra's Puppy.'