Sassy Pet Partner Gifts

'She taught me that copping an attitude will get you everything.'

"This never happened."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Your love gives me strength."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Humans are strange."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Whatever!

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"Jeez, calm down, Bill. We're not saying you're wrong... Just that you're an idiot."

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

Museum of dog memorabilia

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

His master's voice

'She's killing me with kindness!'

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

"Too goth?"

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

Cat Chores

Only 4 shopping days till national dog week

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'