Sassy Comeback Lover Gifts

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Fetch!' 'P*ss Off!'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"Jeez, calm down, Bill. We're not saying you're wrong... Just that you're an idiot."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'She taught me that copping an attitude will get you everything.'

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

"In other words homogenius."

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

'It's like this, Harry -- I'm in the full bloom of life, and I don't need any more of your fertilizer.'

"I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance."

"So, why are you crossing the road?"

'My homework? Why, at home.'

'...Ok clothes, for the way you or someone else could live if you chose to, but you don't so you buy the clothes anyway as silly, sassy statement of defiance!'

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

Y2K: It was 1999. All that year tension had been building. News reports claimed that due to a programming glitch, on New Year's Eve, computers worldwide could malfunction. . .

'Where have you been all my life?'

A Fact.

"You can't be too thin, too rich or too catty."

Honey Trappist

'The computer's running on at the mouth again.'

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."

Polly want a cracker? Sure. While you're up, get a life.

'I understand you like one night stands. Feel free to stand out there in the hall all night.'