Sassy Humor Lovers Pillows

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

The Monroe Doctrine

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Recipes for comfort drinks.

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Escape?...Why?'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Traders joining Wall Street protests

Dollars Press Conference

Euro Collapse

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."