Sassy Chef Gifts

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Whatever!

"More helium."

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Christmas Canapes

"I was in a different place then."

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

"In other words homogenius."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

BBQ

'Don't bother using the cash machine on the High St. I've worn it out.'

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

'That mink-lined surprise he promise me - it was an apron.'

'Ready, Steady, Cook!', with a cow contestant.

"I'm sorry, have you been grimacing long?"

NEW! Self-cooking chili! Just add Jalapenos!

'I feel like chicken tonight' - A rooster gets ready for a night on the town.

A lady teaching a young man to write

'Nice try...'

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

'She's only a passing fancy, luv but you're a good cook!'

'I told the waiter who I was.' 'Who were you?.'

"Don is more like network, and Evan is more like cable."