Foodie With A Side Of Sass Gifts

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"That's it. We’re toast."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Advocado

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'