Sarcastic Supervisor Pillows

Employee Leaves with a shoe up the bum.

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Bureau of the Damned

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"I knew I should never have left you in charge of the rubber bands!"

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

"Oh, please, do tell me what Warren Buffett has to say about adding bleach to delicates."

'Get me everything on scapegoats.'

Big Brother.

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'Like it'll do any good.'

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

Oh, for Pete's sake take some this medicine. You're useless, but at least it will make your COUGH more productive!

"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."