Sarcastic Co-worker Pillows

"Can you ring back in five? He's power-cr*pping right now."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Golfing Boss

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

Dogs and their thoughts

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

"He excels at putting out fires."

"Emotional support dog happy hour"

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'