Sardonic Supervisor Pillows

'There have been rumors they were cutting out a layer of management.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Fish eating smaller fish in a tank.

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Targets

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

Man falls off perch

"Most of the time, it's unclear what our company does exactly."

Special Place in Hell...

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

'Sure that money - detecting app works. It detected you had money didn't it?'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"I'm sorry Gerald but all those orgasms were 'fake news'."

"I never do as I say. That's the beauty of a hypocritical oath."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"You don't get a raise because it's a job killer!"

'You may experience some discomfort.'

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

"Occasionally he allows staff to voice their grievances..."

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

"Can you see it, Bob? Green grass, warm breeze, flip flops. . . spring is coming!"

Elevator buttons: Up/Down/Don't Care.