Sardonic Supervisor Pillows

'There have been rumors they were cutting out a layer of management.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Fish eating smaller fish in a tank.

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

Targets

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

"Most of the time, it's unclear what our company does exactly."

'Wine improves my judgement. The urge to choke you lessens after a couple glasses of Chardonnay.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

Man falls off perch

'Sure that money - detecting app works. It detected you had money didn't it?'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

"Chad is doing product placement on the Simpson trial."

Special Place in Hell...

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

"I never do as I say. That's the beauty of a hypocritical oath."

"I'm sorry Gerald but all those orgasms were 'fake news'."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"You don't get a raise because it's a job killer!"

'You may experience some discomfort.'

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

"Occasionally he allows staff to voice their grievances..."

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

"Can you see it, Bob? Green grass, warm breeze, flip flops. . . spring is coming!"

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

Please Wait to be Heated. (Two new arrivals enter Hell.)