Sarcastic Style Guru Pillows

"Disaster insurance doesn't cover fashion disasters and if it did, your outfit would be considered a pre-existing condition."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Exciting potato bugs.

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

His and Her wardrobe's

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"