Sarcastic Style Guru Pillows

"Disaster insurance doesn't cover fashion disasters and if it did, your outfit would be considered a pre-existing condition."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

His and Her wardrobe's

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

Redhead

"That shirt is so last year."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."