Sarcastic Sidekicker T-Shirts

"If I'd wanted undercooked pig swill I would have stayed home and let my wife do the cooking!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

I clawed my way to the top and all they gave me at the end was a manicure.

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

Big Football

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

Sidekick speed matching service.

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'It's a duet yourself project.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'That's mighty inspiring, Bucky, but I reckon my best hope for gittin' outta this quicksand is for you to reach me that cardboard tube.'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

He gave her a big bear hug. The kind that says, I love you, I'll never leave you, I'm possessive, needy and insecure.

'Now known as 'Christmas Creep', it takes place earlier each year!'

"I get the 'bat' concept - the car, the cave, the plane, the boomerang. . . but how's this Robin thing supposed to fit in?"

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Have you guys ever actually read the directions on a box of shake'n'bake?'

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

Getting Dad up to speed....Happy Father's Day

"Young Justice" got renewed for a third season! What's that? It's a cartoon about a bunch of superhero sidekicks, like Robin and Kid Flash. They start off in the shadows of the more famous heroes, but they quickly show that they're every bit as cools as the bigger, stronger heroes. I think I can tell why that show appeals to you, little buddy. Does your cup feel heavy? My cup feels heavy.

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

"Dang, that place smelled like ass."

"Do you like it? It's a Countdown To The End Of Our Relationship clock."

'I should have known better than to call a geek for backup.'

Batman and Robin

Buckaroo Rogers

'Oh yeah, focus on the negative, why don't you?'

Lars, there's something I need to tell you. Erp. Oh, excuse me, Linda. When my stomach senses yet another breakup speech, I get gas.