Sarcastic Sidekicker Pillows

"If I'd wanted undercooked pig swill I would have stayed home and let my wife do the cooking!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

I clawed my way to the top and all they gave me at the end was a manicure.

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

Big Football

Sidekick speed matching service.

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'It's a duet yourself project.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'That's mighty inspiring, Bucky, but I reckon my best hope for gittin' outta this quicksand is for you to reach me that cardboard tube.'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

He gave her a big bear hug. The kind that says, I love you, I'll never leave you, I'm possessive, needy and insecure.

'Now known as 'Christmas Creep', it takes place earlier each year!'

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

Getting Dad up to speed....Happy Father's Day

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

"Do you like it? It's a Countdown To The End Of Our Relationship clock."

"Dang, that place smelled like ass."

'I should have known better than to call a geek for backup.'

Buckaroo Rogers

"Hello?! My neighbour's being a real nuisance...he won't give me his wallet."