Sarcastic Paper Shuffler Gifts

"Around here they want things in triplicate."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

In, out, shake it all about.

Cut and Run

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

A cat composer

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

Personalized Tax-Return Mailers.

"How's your exercise class going?"

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

Mower Fraud!

"If I'd wanted undercooked pig swill I would have stayed home and let my wife do the cooking!"

'It's a 'don't get well' card from the temp who now has your job at the office.'

'What GPs don't appreciate is that if you don't have middle managers to oversee forms like the 566c4-566 then you wouldn't even KNOW how many 566c4-566s have been filled out.'

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

'I've an idea, why don't we just tear up all these targets and let people get on with their jobs!'

The Origami Club watched in silence, the town would mock them no longer...

Magic Trick

"It's his contribution to the environment"

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

"I wrote it strictly for the reviews."

Procrastinators Anonymous

In and Out Trays of Mumbo and Jumbo.

"That's our paper shredder."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

"Hello?! My neighbour's being a real nuisance...he won't give me his wallet."

American History/Poetry/Biography.