Sarcastic Art Analyst Pillows

"It's a bit literal, isn't it?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

The transparent safe box of Panama

Had enough of the box.

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"White Collar Prison"

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The Sadly Insanes do Baghdad.'

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

Mismanagement at the Bank of England

"Can't you just troll me?"

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

"How about fashionably never?"

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"Where the hell were you fourteen years ago?"

Metal Detector, Melanin dector

"You think you're barking at nothing, but you're really barking at all the angry political rhetoric."

Micromanagement

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'