Sarcasm Interpreter Pillows

"The perfect gift? He's gonna love this! The fact that she thinks I'd even want this makes me question our entire relationship!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'The Burrito King.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

The Snarky District