Sarcasm And Wit Appreciator Pillows

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'Oh Hi!'

The Snarky District

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"Steamed vegetables."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Pharaoh Cocoon

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Amateurs."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'