Santa Strategist Pillows

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

Punk Reindeer

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

'What I want for Christmas can be found in the Russel 2000 index of small-fry funds.'

About Santa 2017.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"What I want for Christmas is to have the day off and watch 'Miracle on 34th Street'."

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"This is Stan, He's helping us look beneath the surface of reality to transcendent truths, in order to make a buck."

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

"... Santa, eh? Do you have any form of identification?"

"Dad, how does Santa Claus visit all the children in the world in one night?"